


Close

by ultraviolnce



Category: Final Space (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Sleeping Together, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:27:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21774421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultraviolnce/pseuds/ultraviolnce
Summary: It was hard to pinpoint when sleeping in the same bed as Avocato started-- Gary never even really processed anything wrong with the gesture because it was harmless! It meant nothing. At least, he didn’t mean anything by it.
Relationships: Avocato/Gary Goodspeed
Comments: 33
Kudos: 204





	1. Small Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Good god, okay.
> 
> First thing's first (I'm the realest)
> 
> It's been a dumb long time since I ever published anything fanfic wise and I only have two chapters written so far-- I beg y'all to be gentle (not too gentle of course-- I appreciate constructive criticism! Just don't be a jerk, yo!)

It was hard to pinpoint when sleeping in the same bed as Avocato started-- Gary never even really processed anything wrong with the gesture because it was harmless! It meant nothing. At least, he didn’t mean anything by it.

\---

Gary knew it was kind of stupid to have allowed a bounty hunter that had only a matter of hours ago had stormed the ship to kill him and his newfound little buddy, and by god, HUE would not let him forget it. But some time spent together and their bond through having someone they needed to save and protect, it seemed like Avocato and Gary had come to some form of understanding. Though the Ventrexian seemed a little hesitant still about making friends, the fact that he was trying was already relieving some of the stress he had about his new roommate-shipmate… person.

He tossed and turned for a few hours, Mooncake cuddling up to try and bring Gary some peace but eventually moved somewhere to get some actual rest. “It’s okay little buddy, I’m just gonna… stretch my legs.” Gary assured as Mooncake watched him with some form of worry on his little face. He pulled on his slippers and a robe overtop of his pajamas and left the room, entering the dim and quiet hallway. The stars in the distance created a serene backdrop to the distant planets and lazily floating space rocks, Gary couldn’t help but stop and watch them drift by. He continued to wander until he found his way to the door of ‘cell’ D-41; Avocato’s room. Gary paused at the door, considering knocking on the door for a minute. Or two. Or three. Definitely longer than he should have stood there.

Gary lifted his hand only to falter just as the door opened, a sleepy looking Ventrexian startling the man out of his focus on his inner conundrum. “Oh, heey, Avocato-- What’s up? Uh…” He backed off, tapping his fingers together idly. 

“Having trouble sleeping.” Avocato mumbled, rubbing his eye and quickly running a hand through his sleep-mussed fur. Gary couldn’t help but notice that he did indeed,have dark circles under his eyes, just barely hidden under the soft bluish-tinged fur. God, he looked almost as bad as Gary felt. “Did you need something?”

“Uh--” The blonde shook off the focus he had put onto his buddy’s tired face and averted his gaze. “No, I was just… wandering, wasn’t sure if you were asleep, but uh...I didn’t really want to wake you up, either.”

“You didn’t.”

“Well good! Good…” Gary trailed off, tapping his fingers nervously on his metallic arm. “I uh… guess that’s it.”

“You wanna come in?”

The offer took him by surprise. “Say wh-- ah, really? I don’t wanna intrude, on your… you time.”

“You’re not.”

“I-I don’t know, seems kind of late, and if you’re trying to sleep--”

“Gary.” He paused his fumbling, looking up at the Ventrexian’s golden-toned eyes. “Just come in, dude.”

“Oh I--okay.” He entered, noting immediately that the room was incredibly bare compared to his own-- of course, Avocato didn’t exactly bring a lot with him, besides his boots and helmet that were set aside and a plethora of weapons (seriously, how did he fit all of those on his person?) that overflowed the chest by the bed to the point where it just sat open--but it felt kind of… sad. Sadder than a prison usually would feel. Maybe he’d appreciate some pictures and stuff. What did this guy even like?

Gary sat down on the bed as Avocato motioned to it, taking one end as the Ventrexian curled up at the head, setting his pillows up and tucking his feet in. He almost looked like a cat trying to loaf but wasn’t quite there. Gary kept that to himself. “So…” he started, leaning back on his arms.

“So?”

Wow, where to go from here? Conversation used to be so easy, know it felt foreign talking to a face instead of a bodiless voice like HUE, or a cold, unblinking camera lens. “You got… hobbies?”

Avocato blinked at him a couple times before his brows furrowed. “Hobbies, like…?”

“Well I dunno, you like art? Fishing? Eating food?”

“I don’t think ‘eating food’ is a hobby, dude.”

“You’d be surprised what people make a hobby out of.” Gary chuckled a bit. “But seriously, you talk about your son, you talk about bounty hunting, what else is there to you? To Avocato?”

It was easy to tell as his expression shifted-- Avocato was uncomfortable with the question. Just as Gary was about to ask something else though, he started his answer. “I guess… not that much. I lived to work, I worked to live. Had a kid young, so that kind of shot hobbies and doing stuff in the face.”

“How young we talking, here?”

“24.”

That was young-- not as much as Gary might have suspected, but Avocato was right-- that did kind of throw a wrench into hobbies and having a social life. Hell, at 24 he was out almost every night, doing god knows what with all sorts of unfavorable crowds, but hey, he was having fun. “And you were… okay with that?”

The Ventrexian shrugged. “I didn’t really have a partying attitude, so it wasn’t like I was losing out on anything.”

“Huh.”

“What about you?”

Gary hemmed at what to tell him. “I uh… I collected butterflies as a kid.”

“Butterflies?” The human flushed a bit at the confusion in the other’s tone, suddenly concerned with how dorky that probably sounded. “Y-yeah, it was kind of weird, but I liked it, I-I guess, and I uh…”

“What’s a butterfly, exactly?” Gary looked up to see the Ventrexian moved a little closer, interested in what he had to say. His chest swelled and he smiled half-heartedly. “You don’t know what a butterfly is?”

“Never heard of it.”

He kind of forgot this guy was an alien-- butterflies always seemed to be universal, so hearing that? Oh, he was about to tell Avocato more than he ever wanted to know about butterflies, man. “Okay, well they’re a pretty common type of insect on Earth, they come in all shapes and sizes, colors, patterns-- they’re cool as hell, too…”

It had to be a good couple hours they talked, Avocato feeding questions about butterflies, then Earth insects, birds, and Gary was more than happy to talk about it. It wasn’t until the wee hours of the morning that the conversation started to slow as Avocato closed his eyes, humming at what Gary had to say and lazily asking questions. And even then, Gary never clued in until Avocato was asleep at how close together they had gotten, the human somehow migrating to a corner of the bed by his friend’s side, thigh-to-thigh with Avocato’s head almost on is stomach and an arm draped over Gary lazily. It was warm-- heck, comfortable, too-- and when Gary attempted to move, the Ventrexian made some noise akin to a growl. Okay, he was kind of stuck, but it could have been worse. Way worse. And Avocato was soft as hell, and he fell asleep first, so he couldn’t get mad at Gary for not moving when he kind of pinned the guy down, right?

Defeated by his own mental argument, Gary gave in and sunk down, curling into the warm touch and burying his face in the pillow before he too, fell victim to a deep sleep.


	2. No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Advice goes about as well as anyone expects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey! 
> 
> A short and kind of slice-of-life chapter, but I promise I will be playing with characters more over the next couple chapters (things will potentially heat up too, I swear)

A few days passed and the night spent cuddled up together was not mentioned-- Avocato had made himself scarce by morning and continued his usual routine without fail, and Gary wasn’t sure if that made things more or less awkward. Sure, the Ventrexian still talked to him and laughed at his (in his own opinion) fantastic jokes, but the lack of conversation about that one topic in particular made Gary antsy. Was he denying it happened? Did Gary make it weird? Was it only weird if he brought it up? What if he did bring it up and made it weird?!

So, he didn’t. Everything progressed as normal, even when Quinn made her appearance on the ship-- in fact, her appearance pushed the night out of the man’s head as he pursued.

And of course, he found himself at Avocato’s door after the rejection from the woman. Still tired and a little toasty in the face from the inherent radiation-tan from the collapsed star they dealt with, Gary massaged his sore hand (thankfully it was not broken, but HUE did inform him it would be very tender for some time) and weighed his options once again. This time, he reached out and knocked. 

“It’s open.” Came the reassuring voice of his friend, soft and tired-- and for good reason, of course. Not like Avocato and Quinn were not put through their own stressful hell back on the ship. Gary opened the door to find the bounty hunter still fully dressed and lying on top of his bed covers, one leg draped over the other, rolling his ankle with his hands behind his head and a furrowed brow that revealed him to be deep in thought. His gaze broke from the ceiling and flicked to Gary. 

“Hey.” Gary greeted softly, closing the door behind him.

“Hey.”

The silence ensued again, Gary crossing the room silently and sitting down on the desk chair that sat open to a gun that the Ventrexian had pulled apart and set out for repairs. “So… uh, kind of need… advice. About Quinn.”

“I’m not a good person for that.” came the curt response.

“Aw, c’mon, man! Don’t feed me that!” Gary whined. “You gotta know something, I could really use some tips here, she’s killing me!”

Avocato rolled his eyes at him. It took Gary a hot minute to register it, but he definitely gave him an eyeroll. “I don’t think you should chase her, dude.”

“Okay, not the advice I was looking for.”

“I know, and I’m sorry man, but--” he huffed and sat up. “I just don’t like her-- she’s too…” he waved his hand in a so-so fashion. “She gives off this vibe like…she’s not a good person, man.”

“What?” Gary didn’t mean to almost yell it. “She’s amazing, dude, have you seen her?”

Avocato let out a sharp ‘ha’ and sat up. “Yeah, I was stuck in a room with her. She’s just…” he pressed his lips together and waved his hands, as if it was going to bring to him the adjective he wanted before giving up with a sigh. “I dunno, I just… I don’t like Infinity Guard, they got this vibe like they… only care about themselves and their weird loyalty to each other. It’s like a brainwash. Reminds me off--” he broke off, “...I’m kinda… worried about you. Don’t get your hopes up, man.”

Gary was annoyed by Avocato’s honestly roundabout way of saying he didn’t like Quinn, but he wouldn’t push. “Sooo… you can’t give advice because you hate her?”

“I didn’t say I hated her, I just don’t like her. Or trust her. Or want to help her.” Avocato expanded. “But no, I can’t give advice because, well… I’ve never really dealt with women.”

“Oh? Oh!” Gary let out a laugh of relief. At least it wasn’t hatred. “Wow, I am so sorry, dude-- wow, awkward.”

“It’s fine, I never shared, man.” Avocato sat back with his back against the wall.

“I never asked! I guess I just assumed because of, you know--”

“Little Cato?” Avocato simply shrugged. “I get it a lot. But no, I’m not a good resource for Quinn talk.”

“No no, fair enough.” Gary deflated in the chair. “Fair… enough.”

“So… we good?”

“Yeah, oh yeah-- I’m good, solid. Cool.” Gary made no move to leave. “So… what was… Little Cato’s parent… like? If I can ask-- and if there was another one!”

“There was. And you can’t.”

“Oh.” Gary didn’t push that. “Cool. Hm.”

“...you know you can sit on the bed, by the way.”

“Huh?”

Avocato gave yet another shrug. “You just… chair’s kinda crap, you can sit where it’s comfortable. Not like you’re not allowed.”

The chair was uncomfortable. Gary got up hesitantly and moved to the bed again. “So… why don’t you like Quinn?”

“Gary, just drop it. If you like her, go for her. I just don’t want to be involved. And I don’t want to see you keep getting your feelings hurt. Shit bites.”

That was actually… really sweet. He felt a little pang in his chest at that. “Aww!”

“Shut up.” Avocato gave him a playful shove. “Just promise you won’t make things completely and unbearably awkward with her by chasing her down.”

“Hey, I’m nothing if not a gentleman.” He just wanted Quinn to see that. “I’ll… I’ll figure something out with her.” Gary sighed, leaning back against the wall, head tilting when his temple hit something soft-- oh, Avocato’s shoulder. He looked up at the Ventrexian to see he wasn’t looking back, but nothing in his features said this bothered him. 

“You will, just… don’t get hurt. You’re too good of a guy to keep getting rejected. Don’t let her do that to you.”

Gary nodded against Avocato’s shoulder, closing his eyes for a moment when he felt the other’s firm, warm arm around his shoulders. And soft, wow was he ever soft. He didn’t want to move and lose out on this rare best-friend hug he had been blessed with, but hell he wanted to cuddle in more, he wanted the embrace tighter. How was this guy such a good hugger?

He moved in more, hand moving to steady himself with fingers just a few centimetres shy of the Ventrexian’s leg, and the hold did indeed tighten. It felt heavenly to get held like that, and Avocato was seemingly happy to do so, as he did the rest of the night until both drifted off.


	3. Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some commissary antics, Quinn and Gary have a talk about some concerns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey, so I know it's been awhile. I'm sorry, work has been keeping me on my toes but this quarantine has knocked me off of my feet.
> 
> Long story short? My work is shut down for two weeks. It's a blessing and a curse when you start to hit your emotional limit, but like money.
> 
> But, I am taking the time to get back on the writing horse and should have the next chapter or two done by next week if I can roll with this!

Admittedly it became a routine; Gary would try to sleep, give up trying to sleep, go wake up Avocato and end up crashing in his room. HUE and Quinn started noticing, but didn’t comment, and Gary slowly made his way from self-aware of how it looked to simply being… fine with it. It was not like there was anything wrong with it-- he was still into Quinn, and he made it known (according to Avocato and HUE, more than he needed to. Haters.)-- and Avocato hadn’t told him to piss off yet, so it just kept going.

It wasn’t that late at night-- only about 9pm according to the ship’s system-- and the group had been settled into their fourth or fifth round of cards if one were to judge from the litter of chip bags and pop cans they raided from the commissary. Of course HUE had warded Gary from doing so:

“It’s not like I don’t have the funds, HUE!” Gary protested as he yanked at the little metal hatch to try and get the AI to see reason. 

“It is not an issue of funds, Gary-- your incarceration statement clearly states that commissary has a limit of two of each food item to a prisoner.”

“I’m the only one serving time!” Gary pointed out, exasperated by it. “This is a load, HUE! It’s not all for me.”

“I cannot authorize a request like this, Gary, for your health and safety. Any further attempts will result in a two week--”

He was cut off as Quinn brushed by, taking out a card and swiping it in a hub in the counter. The hatch opened with ease. “Command override.” HUE announced as the woman ducked through, returning with multiple bags of snacks and bottles of different juices and soft drinks. 

She turned back to Gary and Avocato, looking in awe and surprise respectively. “...I don’t have to follow commissary limits,” she explained. “And I wasn’t going to stand here for another twenty minutes.” Gary fumbled as bags were shoved into his arms.

“That’s pretty hot,” Gary mumbled, adjusting his grip on the bags. Quinn’s brow furrowed but she seemed to ignore the statement otherwise, going back to picking up her collection and hoisted some of the bottles on the Ventrexian. 

Now they sat, a mix of pleased and a little ill from the (questionable) junk food collection but overall having a good time. It was not much longer before Quinn set down her cards. “I’m calling this a night.”

“What? No way! It was just getting good!” the blonde started, setting down his own cards.

Quinn gave a slight grin and a shrug, almost apologetic. “Sorry, we got things to do. Don’t stay up too late.” She replied simply before heading out. Gary’s lower lip almost stuck out as she walked away, pouting in silence as the door closed.

Avocato was hesitant to break the silence with a question, aware of what the answer would be. “Are we… doing another round?”

Gary looked back to him, offering a smile. “Nah, I uh… I think I’ll call it a night, too. Quinn’s right, lots to do still.”

“Right.” The Ventrexian was disappointed but not surprised-- if Quinn wasn’t there, what was the point in continuing to sit there? He couldn’t help but be just a little bitter, but Avocato bit his tongue. “Night then.”

“Night.” Gary mused, folding the cards back into the deck before slipping them into his pocket. A couple handfuls of garbage went into the bins and as fast as Quinn absconded, Gary disappeared as well. 

Avocato sat there for a moment, only more bitter and hurt, but again, unsurprised by the outcome; He could only hope Gary had some braincells and wouldn’t dedicate his time and energy to being around Quinn 24-7, but that was the keyword-- ‘hope’. Annoyed, Avocato got up himself and cleaned the remainder of the mess in silence before heading for the door.

His surprise was evident however, when he stepped out into the hallway to find Gary standing there, hands in his pockets and a smile on his face, as if he had been waiting on the alien. “Took you long enough,” Gary joked lightly before taking in the surprise on Avocato’s face. “...What’s up, bro?”

Avocato shook off the surprise, his face heating up under his fur. “I uh… thought you were calling it a night?”

“I am?” Gary’s smile wavered, his gaze on the Ventrexian tinged with confusion. “I just thought I could… walk with you back to your room?” His smile melted a little more. “Unless you just wanted to be alone or something.”

“No! No,” his hands raised up. “I… thanks for waiting up.”

The blonde’s face lit up again, murmuring ‘you’re welcome’ before following at Avocato’s side down the hallway. Oh, that face was so sweet and hopeful, and the way Gary’s smile shone made the bounty hunter’s chest swell; he hadn’t expected the other to wait on him and walk him back to his room, and the fact that he did so? It left the imprint of a warm feeling, hard to explain. Like he was wanted around. It was nice.

They reached the room and Avocato hit the button, his door opening as Gary moved behind him slightly, hands sliding deeper into his pockets. The Ventrexian took a couple steps in before looking back to Gary, looking him over before asking tentatively, “Did you want to come in and talk for a bit?”

Gary perked in surprise at the offer but nodded and followed suit, the door closing behind him.

\--

The morning hit and HUE did his regular routine of activating the lights and waking everyone up, as Avocato heard the lights switching and HUE’s muffled voice over the sound system outside his room when he started to wake. Gary’s weight on his shoulder was quick to remind him of the other’s presence in his bed. Comfortable, Avocato decided against waking Gary up himself and sunk back into place, closing his eyes and shifting to wrap his half-asleep arm around the man which earned him a weak, sleepy protest. He waited on HUE to turn on the lights, call them to wake up, but it never came. And he didn’t complain, relieved to get to stay in bed close to his friend before drifting off again.

\--

Gary woke up not too much after, reluctantly moving from the warm spot he had been pulled into, saddened by having to leave it as Avocato grunted in his unconscious state but he knew if he didn’t get up, HUE would be bugging them soon enough. He slipped out of the bed and pulled his boots back on before heading out the door, leaving the Ventrexian to rest longer. Dude could use it.

He wandered the hallway to the mess hall, setting up the coffee maker and starting his daily 6:30 AM routine-- Gary paused, looking back at the clock on the little microwave. Was time passing at different speeds or did this busted clock say he woke up two hours late? “HUE?” Gary called out to the ship AI. It took a moment before HUE opted to answer.

“Ah, good morning, Gary.”

“Yeah, good morning two hours late. What the freak, HUE? Why didn’t you wake us up?”

“Who’s ‘us’?” Gary’s back straightened on instinct at the new voice entering the conversation before HUE could respond, turning his head to meet Quinn’s gaze. “Wondering if you were going to come around,” she continued with a hum as she made her way to the cupboards.

“Yeah, well HUE didn’t wake me up, and now, I probably have another two weeks added to my sentence or something!” Gary huffed out. 

“Actually Gary, I made an executive decision to allow you to sleep in. Due to good behavior, I am advised to reward it as I see fit. And you had a visitor, so I thought it best to not disturb you--”

“What? No, no no visitors, but thank you, HUE. Very cool. Very…” he could feel his face heating up as he looked back to Quinn. “...Cool.”

Quinn’s lips quirked up in a smirk, though whether it was because of his obviously smooth save or because of HUE’s embarrassing mention of his activity, it was hard to tell. “You are welcome, Gary. But do not expect it every day.” HUE replied before disconnecting. If the blonde didn’t know any better, he would have said the AI’s tone was cheeky.

Gary sighed and turned to fully face Quinn, who was now pouring out two cups of coffee from the finished pot. “Y-you know he was just kidding about the visitor, it was just--”

“Avocato. I know,” she mused, offering one of the cups to Gary. “I’ve noticed.”

“You have?” Gary suddenly felt nervous, tapping his fingers idly on the ceramic mug he was offered. “It’s not what you think--”

“Gary, you don’t have to explain it to me.” Quinn replied casually, pouring a little cream into her coffee and stirring it idly, not quite facing him. 

“Oh, good--” he was cut off by her raising the spoon as she faced him, expression serious. “Oh you’re not done, okay--”

“I’m not.” she agreed.

“Quinn, I am still like, super interested in you, and--” he was silenced with a shake of the spoon again, mumbling a quick ‘okay’.

“You don’t have to explain things to me, but I am going to explain things to you-- I’m not interested, Gary. I don’t want to keep making you feel bad, but it’s the truth. You’re just…” she sighed out her nose and paused her roll to take a sip of coffee. “...not my type. So it doesn’t bother me what you do with your partner--”

“Best friend.”

“Sure.” She looked annoyed at the correction but accepted it with that single word before continuing, “but if you’re looking for something, or someone, who is going to have interest in you and you are their type, I don’t know-- I think you should focus on the guy you’ve been sharing a room with.”

Gary stared at her, long and hard, before bursting out into disbelieving laughter. “Wha-- Avocato? He’s my friend-- my bro! It’s not like that, he’s just--” the laughter started to dissolve his attempt at an argument, more desperate than entertained as he realized, he didn’t really have an argument-- he and Avocato had been noticeably sleeping in the same room. “...I-It’s just… not like that.”

Quinn was silent, looking over his expression before her lips once more turned up in some kind of amused smile. “...Right.”

“Yeah? Cool. Great.” Gary huffed, relieved. They continued to drink their coffee and prep breakfast in silence, Quinn opening her mouth a couple times as if she intended to speak, only to slug back some coffee and continue on her morning. Finally, as they finished off their coffee and Gary sat back to finish the rest of his microwaved oatmeal, he saw Quinn turn out of the corner of his eye and raise a hand, as if getting his attention.

“So, I have one more question.”

Gary shrugged. “Sure, shoot.”

“Does… Avocato know?” Gary choked on his mouthful of oatmeal. “Wh--know?”

Quinn’s brows furrowed in concern. “Yeah, like that you guys aren’t… that this is like a friend thing to you?”

Gary coughed a couple times, hitting his chest to clear his throat. “W-well, yeah! He has to! Kind of weird to be all close and together and have one person know this is all as friends and not the other, right?”

“...Right. Right,” she mused softly, her voice unconvinced. With all said and done, she cleaned out her mug and gave a brief wave before leaving. Gary returned the favor before sitting back, shaking his head as he played with his food, mulling over what Quinn said.

He couldn’t imagine Avocato not knowing-- after all, he was into Quinn, and he made that clear plenty of times. Besides, if Avocato was into him, he would have said something! The guy had the confidence and nerve to say something about it, so why wouldn’t he? There was no reason! But he had not breathed a word to Gary implying it, there couldn’t be anything, right?

...Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! The next chapter might get a little angsty and smutty. How? I won't tell. 
> 
> Comments keep the dream alive!


	4. Mourning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so some may have noticed the rating has changed from Teen and up to Mature.
> 
> There's some smut in this chapter. It can be skipped and you will get warning prior to the start and there is a cut off. You won't miss a thing!
> 
> I might add in a chapter that is the same, just sans smut. But it could be a bit, this was a long chapter and took a lot of time since I rarely write smut.
> 
> Tell me your thoughts and opinions!
> 
> And as always, be constructive but gentle with criticism-- im not a smut writer, lol.

It was almost a week now since Avocato died. Little Cato had come around reluctantly, everyone was getting back into routine. It was like things were moving on again. 

Gary realized how much he hated that.

That was why he was wandering the halls of the Galaxy One so late at night again, flesh hand grazing the cool metal walls. The ship was silent save for some light snoring in the vents (Little Cato, despite everything, was still making himself comfortable in the ventilation shafts to “cope”-- Gary could respect that) as the blonde followed his familiar path, one he hadn’t used in a week out of… well, he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was that this wasn’t necessary, there were actual people he could talk to on the ship that would lend an ear.

Maybe it was the sickening feeling that came with knowing the walk was only going to lead to disappointment and an empty room.

He paused at the door, reaching up to touch the branded ‘D-41’ with his metal fingers, the sound of the metal scraping not making him flinch as he normally would. He shouldn’t be there, much less let himself in. It was disrespectful, even to a dead man. Gary leaned his forehead to rest against the door when he heard another one further down slide open. He jumped, opening Avocato’s door and slipped into the room and locking it behind him. He watched the light under the door, a soft whirring but no shadow; KVN, probably. Thank god he dodged that bullet.

The human waited with his ear pressed against the door until the whirring was gone before standing back up straight, his fingers shy of the release when he paused. It was like the realization came crashing down on him-- this was Avocato’s room he locked himself in. He hadn’t been inside in days, and from the looks of the light dust collecting, nobody else had, either. 

He inhaled and stepped further into the low lit room, noting that even despite the lack of use it still had that scent-- his scent, attached to everything inside. A familiar smell that made his heart hurt so, so much, Gary realized as he reached out and tentatively touched the forehead of the helmet on the dresser. It was a moment before he gingerly picked it up in both hands, thumbs stroking the sides as he gazed into the unblinking visor for a moment. He missed seeing those gold eyes behind the orange-tainted glass, the way they lit up when their owner laughed. Or was shooting something. Something about how expressive the Ventrexian’s eyes were always got him; that gaze made him feel warm inside, even when the other was berating him for something stupid, or he was complimenting him, or chuckling at his stupid jokes. 

Or looking at him softly when he’d wake up at the Ventrexian’s side. That gaze was always strangely his favorite. Soft, sleepy and gentle. It was rare to see from Avocato and those few times he could catch that gaze, Gary felt the flutter in his chest. Those moments always made him feel special.  
Now they’re gone, came the invasive thought back to the forefront of his mind, unwelcomed and bringing a painful prickling to the corners of his eyes. Gary set down the helmet to press the heels of his hands into his eyes gently, as if that was stopping the onslaught of tears that threatened him. With a heavy exhale he was finally able to move his hands and continue his walk, moving some old and forgotten clothes aside with his boot to get to another welcoming place; Avocato’s bed, unmade as usual but uncomfortably empty. 

The human sat down on the side with a huff, kicking off his boots slowly before lying back on the mattress. Immediately his senses were overtaken by the other’s smell, strongly scented shampoo mixed with metal and leather. There was a moment he forgot, that Gary didn’t know better, and he rolled over almost expecting to see Avocato’s soft, sleeping form at his side. Warm and breathing. But he wasn’t there, and it made him feel… empty. 

Tears leaking slowly down his face, he mumbled berating words to himself and flipped over onto his back again to stare up at the wall. God, was he going insane? This insane over someone he barely knew? He felt crazy, the way his head hurt as his heart pounded through his chest. Was this what crazy actually felt like?

He shook it off, rolling back onto his stomach and burying his face into the pillow under his head, inhaling Avocato’s scent.

\--

“Morning.”

Gary blinked away sleep in his eyes, rubbing at his face before stretching and squinting in the lit up room. Everything was bathed in a soft yellow light around him, making his vision blurry for a few moments before he came back fully. 

“Hey, I don’t get a ‘good morning’?” The voice actually caught his attention this time, his head snapping to his side to see…

“Avocato.” the alien quirked an eyebrow at Gary’s breathy response, lips curling into a smirk as he moved to settle himself on his elbows.

“Mhm.” he hummed before slowly sitting up and moving to sit against the wall, stretching his arms over his head and crossing his legs at the ankles. “Sleep well?” 

“Sleep… well?” Gary repeated, his brain frantically processing what the hell was going on. “No… No! I slept terrible, man!” he exclaimed, running his hands through his blonde hair.

The Avocato--dream, vision, some kind of guilty conscience, whatever-- frowned at the response and moved up onto his hands and knees, crawling closer to Gary. “You want to talk about it?”

Gary sniffled, reaching up to touch his cheek, feeling the wet tracks down his face and moving his hand back only to find it dry when he studied it. Slowly, he looked back up to Avocato’s concerned face. Did he want to talk about it? No, not at all. He didn’t want to discuss how insane he was at this moment, having a breakdown in front of some figment of his friend he felt broken over and talk about it. Slowly, he shook his head. “I can’t.”

Avocato processed this, sitting back on his hands at Gary’s side before offering a shrug. “Alright, I guess.” he mused casually before offering another grin. “Got some time, what do you want to do?”

“Time before… what, exactly.” Gary asked him, brows furrowing at the figment who only offered him another half shrug. 

“Just before everything else,” came his cryptic response before he stood up. “Could play cards, or see what’s going on at the bridge, or--”

“I want to stay here.” Gary sat up a little suddenly and took Avocato’s forearm-- it was warm and soft, almost as if he just grabbed hold of the real thing, “And just… talk.”

The Ventrexian lit up at that. “I can do that.” he sat back down willingly, shifting close enough their knees were shy of touching. “What do you want to talk about?”

Good question. He had a lot to talk about, and a lot of things he hoped he could get an answer for. “What are you?”

That immediately earned him a hearty laugh. “What? I’m a Ventrexian, man. Come on, you know that!” he lightly shoved the human, Gary hyper aware of the warmth radiating from the touch that sprung forward a warmer, full feeling in his chest. 

“Yeah, okay I-I deserved that one,” he mused weakly, looking down at his hands as his face heated up. Maybe he needed to warm up before trying to break the fourth wall. “Well, I met Little Cato.”

“You did?” Avocato moved in closer, his smile brightening his whole face in a way that brought a grin to Gary’s face, too. “Yeah man! He’s so cool-- well from what I did get to see of him, he’s super awesome, and he’s like an actual badass.”

That seemed to please this figment Avocato as he relaxed his shoulders. “God-- I’m so glad you like him, man. He means a lot to me.” he replied softly, looking down at his own hands.

“He’s great, he actually reminds me a lot of you.”

The figment sunk down more, his smile softer and his eyes shiny--wait. Gary looked at him with worry, noticing the beginning of…

“Oh, hey hey!” he quickly wrapped his arms around Avocato, squeezing his soft shoulders. “Please don’t cry--”

“‘M sorry, I’m sorry, I just…” his body shook with a silent sob, tears glistening at the corners of his eyes. “I’m just so… happy you like him. It means so much you do.”

“You’re really this happy I like him?” Gary smiled a little, flattered at the very thought. “Why, did you think I wouldn’t?”

“No, nothing like that, I just…” he lifted his head. “It’s just nice to hear he’s doing good, and that he’s getting along with you guys. I’m just really, really relieved.”

Gary’s heart pounded at the words, watching the other cry silently with a smile still playing at his features. He reached out, touching Avocato’s cheek. The Ventrexian didn’t flinch away, though his attention flicked back down to his hands as Gary’s own pressed against Avocato’s hot cheek. “Can I ask you something actually kind of… out there?”

“Yeah, of course.” Avocato replied, sniffling again before leaning softly into Gary’s touch.

“Did you ever feel like… we were more than friends?”

The silence between them became more obvious, Avocato thinking about the question with his brows knitting together. “I think… I felt special with you. Wanted. And I was scared of that.”

Gary’s eyes widened. “Why?” he pressed.

“Well, maybe because you were special to me, and I wasn’t sure if I was really special too or if it was just me hoping, you know? Between Quinn and all these situations, and…”

Gary could feel his mouth run dry. “Do you… know that you’re dead?” he asked cautiously.

The look in Avocato’s eyes resembled pain. “Yes.”

“Is it possible that you’re just my own feelings pretending to be Avocato?”

“I guess it’s possible. Is this what you wanted to hear?”

Gary’s lips pressed into a straight line. “I don’t know. There’s a lot of weird shit going on and I don’t know how to process it-- I mean, if I did have feelings for you, they’re useless now-- you’re gone. I miss you like hell, but things are progressing without you. And it hurts, and feels like I’ve lost a part of myself, but I have to move, too.” 

Avocato listened attentively, nodding at the end of his response. “I understand.”

“Do you?” Gary replied, face scrunching up. “You’re a figment of my imagination, you’re just going through the motions, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.” Avocato looked thoughtful. “Maybe I’m here to help you process your thoughts and emotions. Help them and you move on and continue.”

“Then, what does this all mean?”

The Ventrexian tilted his head and gave an amused grin. “Maybe you should tell me what you think this all means. They’re your feelings.”

Gary’s hand slid off of Avocato’s cheek, resting on his thigh. “I think this means that I’m crazy, and a wreck, and in love with Avocato.”

“In love?” he chuckled.

“Well, at least interested. Like, really interested, maybe even more than Quinn, which is super weird and unexpected, but--”

There was no chance to finish, this Avocato taking both of Gary’s cheeks in his hands and pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth, silencing him. Gary flinched a bit at the realistic feeling of the Ventrexian’s lips on his, warm and soft and his fur tickling the human’s face and the pressure of the hands on his face, but he took it, kissing back with a gentleness he only ever dreamed someone would kiss him with. They broke apart for a moment, Gary panting lightly as he realized he had forgotten to breathe during the sudden kiss.

“...Yeah, I think… I think I’m in love. I’m in love with a dead man.” Gary murmured.

“I’m sorry.” Avocato offered weakly.

“Don’t be. It sucks, sure, but… I can’t un-kill him.” his shoulders slumped. “I just wish I could have told him sooner, or at all.” 

Avocato nodded faintly. “I wish I could offer you something, really…”

Gary bit his lower lip, tears welling up. “You could kiss me again?” he asked softly, lowering his head to hide the tears as best he could as they started free-falling, rolling down his cheeks before dropping off and hitting his lap.

“Is that what you want me to do?”

Gary nodded, eyes fluttering shut as tears continued to leak out. A soft digit with a rounded, paw pad-like touch slid under his chin and tilted his face up. Avocato’s lips were on his again and in that moment, Gary pressed in with a desperation to his movements. He grasped Avocato’s shirt tightly while his mouth worked hungrily, tears still flowing. The other shifted with a muffled hum of surprise, following Gary’s passion and fervor one to one with a hand moving to wrap around his waist and the hand originally on his chin moving to cradle his cheek, thumb swiping away the tears on the one side of his face.

It felt good-- hell, even perfect-- to finally be able to touch and be touched, even if it wasn’t real. But as Avocato started to pull back for air, Gary chased his lips, leaning into the man to press kisses wherever he could; his jaw, neck, collarbone-- all eliciting a surprised gasp from his partner as his grip tightened. Their lips crashed back together, Gary moving to straddle the other’s hips and moved his arms to wrap around Avocato’s shoulders. The Ventrexian took it in stride, pulling him closer by the hips and leaning back until Gary was able to lean over him on the bed.

There was a moment of silence when they pulled apart, panting heavier than before and rolling over to lay side-by-side on the bed. Avocato watched Gary with a gentleness the man had only seen in the wee hours of the morning should he have had the luck to wake up before Avocato.

**NSFW INCOMING WARNING!**  
**NSFW INCOMING WARNING!**

“Touch me.” Gary asked him after a few minutes of comfortable silence. 

That earned him a laugh from the Ventrexian, the sound vibrating in his ears-- why did it feel like years since he heard that laugh? “Baby, I am touching you,” Avocato replied with amusement, curling his fingers that rested on Gary’s waist to remind him. The sensation of the fingers raking along his skin through his thin shirt was enough to make him shudder, but Gary shook his head before sitting up. The smile of amusement on Avocato’s face melted as he watched, confused.

“No.” Gary moved to straddle his partner, knees flush to each of Avocato’s hips and sat down, their clothed fronts rubbing. The sound that left the Ventrexian was between a moan and a whine, squeezing Gary’s hips gently in his grasp. 

“You sure?” Avocato rumbled, his voice going low and soft, the growl to his tone made the other bite his lower lip a bit before nodding.

There was no time wasted in stripping off layers of clothes, which moved faster than Gary was expecting-- the work of a dream verse, maybe?-- and was quicker to pin Avocato down with both hands on his chest, only for the Ventrexian to grab him with one arm around his shoulders and the other around his waist with a hand pressed into the small of his back and flipped him with embarrassing ease, drinking in the human’s bare form with slitted pupils. The confidence he had been feeling moments earlier drained from him, Gary immediately covering his scarred chest and lower half.

Avocato didn’t seem to question what he clearly could see of the other’s body, simply offering a smug look before he removed the higher up arm to caress Gary’s cheek sweetly before pressing two fingers to his lips. In silent understanding the man’s lips parted to suck the digits into his mouth, licking and sucking on them shamelessly until the bounty hunter pulled his hand back and offered a smile. He prodded his fingers against Gary’s hole and slipped the first in, working the man slowly. The blonde whimpered and pushed back on the finger, working with his partner’s pace as the second finger made its way in. The whimpers turned to moans and moans to a yelp as the Ventrexian’s fingers grazed his sweet spot, slowing their pace and paying special attention to the bundle of nerves.

The fingers left him, the emptiness and loss of warmth inside him an upsetting shock before something larger pressed against his hole. With some horror Gary opened his mouth to oppose (because crap, where was the lubricant?) but no sound came out as the other slid in slowly, no pain advising his lower half. Oh right, Gary realized as tears pricked at his eyes, this wasn’t real. He was dream screwing a figment of his imagination that happened to play a really convincing Avocato. Nothing was this easy or felt this good in real life.

“Gary?” Said figment’s thumb softly grazed along his cheek, wiping away a stray tear. He sounded concerned, and Gary couldn’t help his heart skipping a beat at the very idea. “You okay?”

“I…” Gary shifted, fully aware with some embarrassment at how bad it looked to be crying while his partner was completely balls deep inside him. “... No.” he admitted at last. 

Avocato looked worried. “Do you want me to stop, then?”

“No.” Gary wrapped both arms around the alien’s soft, furry neck. “Keep going. Please.”

The man nodded slowly, shifting Gary’s legs to spread him further as he slowly thrusted his hips in and drew out, grazing Gary’s sweet spot. It brought only more tears-- it felt good, the pain there but almost nothing-- a dream trying to replicate real life.

He tried to push it out of his mind when he heard Avocato hum, opening his wet eyes to look up into his partner’s worried face, light behind his head softly reflecting off of his fur; he had a glow to him that seemed… serene. At the risk of being cliche, even angelic. Gary’s breath caught in his throat, feeling a little guilty-- he should be enjoying himself, not wallowing in what could be, dream or not. He managed a smile and pulled back his hand from the Ventrexian’s back to caress his face softly. Avocato nuzzled in, a soft purr emitting from his throat. 

“Keep going?” Gary asked gently. His partner nodded and resumed his pace, shifting Gary in his arms to drive into that bundle of nerves. Suddenly it was all he could do to not scream, his back twitching and head thrown back to moan. Taking in the response, Avocato didn’t let up, pounding in with more fervor, chasing that reaction until Gary was seeing stars, the gasps being pushed out of his throat filling the air, mingling with the slapping of skin and the creak of the bed. He could feel tears still forcing their way out, but at this moment he couldn’t tell what it was from, anymore. There was a moment Avocato started to slow his pace. “Gary, I’m--” he started, trailing off as Gary pulled him in. “Whatever you want,” the man murmured, planting a soft kiss to his lips.

Avocato melted into the kiss for a fleeting moment before pulling back, a smile playing at his lips before he buried his face into Gary’s neck and lifted his hips, drilling downwards. Gary cried out, the feeling in his hips becoming numb. Was he waking up? He didn’t want to yet!

“Avocato, I think I…” Gary started, only to be silenced by another, chaste kiss.

“I love you, too.” The words rang in his ears, but why did they sound so distorted? 

“I…” Everything felt slow. He was definitely about to wake up as everything seemed to fade out. It was beyond his control, Gary was helpless to stop this.

I love you.

**NSFW END!**  
**NSFW END!**

\--

Gary was shocked awake suddenly, eyes flashing open but vision still blurry. It took him a moment to blink the blurriness away, the dark room coming back to focus and reminding him where he was-- and more importantly, that he was alone.

It took a moment to process, but when the feeling hit him, Gary couldn’t stop it. Curling into himself under the covers that smelled only faintly of his friend now, his body shook with a sob. Was he really in love with Avocato? Gary hated to think on it-- if he truly was, he was only realizing it now when Avocato was not even here to hear it, much less give Gary the answer he needed.

He heard the door creak open, a robotic voice speak out in that familiarly annoying tone. “Gary?” 

In that moment he saw red-- he already lost an amazing dream, why did KVN have to come in and add insult to injury, watching him sob like a forlorn child?

“GET THE FUCK OUT!” Gary screamed, sitting up and whipping a pillow at the robot, face red and tears streaming down his face. “JUST--FUCK OFF, KVN!”

The robot dodged the pillow and with an ‘oh’, closed the door quickly, leaving Gary to throw himself back onto the bed, curling into a ball and cry with no regard for his volume. He didn’t care who heard anymore, who would even care, anyways?

Things were in motion, he had to step up and be a leader. Surely the others could get over one more night of self-pity and mourning, if they even cared to peer in on the abandoned room.

He was not sure exactly how long his sobs carried on, only that his eyes burned and the pillow under his cheek was soaked by the time he was unable to stay awake and pity himself and his loss anymore and fell into a dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Next chapter hitting as soon as I can make myself finish the third chapter!


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